One Year Older

In a last minute turn of events, Cory and I decided to spend my birthday weekend in Wyoming with my family.  My mom said it would be nice to have the whole family together before we moved to Tennessee and all that sentimental mumbo-jumbo, but we all know that she really wanted us there because my birthday is her favorite day of the year!  Once we confirmed with her that we were coming, she asked me what I wanted to eat for my birthday dinner.  I decided to get the family involved in making an Argentine menu.  Here is Dad tenderizing some beef for the milanesa.

Lacey and Chris were on empanada duty.

Cory got in on filling some empanada shells, too.  The baby was helping her.  I love my girls!

Here is the milanesa, ready to be breaded and fried.  It was delicious.

As we sat down, the special red plate was out for my place setting.  Family tradition, but it had been a while since I have been home on my birthday.

For dessert, Mom whipped up a banana cream pie.

It was fun to see my family's reactions to some of the different foods they tasted that I ate on a regular basis in Argentina.  Successful 25th birthday!  The truth is that I was actually home for almost a week, and Cory flew up on the weekend, so we made a lot more memories watching movies, playing games, and visiting.  On Memorial Day, Dad planted flowers we had gotten the previous week.  And my parents' new dog, Winnie, rounded out our Red, White, and Blue theme.

I don't know when I will stand on this porch again, but it was a great trip, and I was glad to have the time at home before we head east of the Mississippi.

The Ultrasound

This was a day that was much anticipated by both Sean and I.  Leading up I was having a lot of nervous feelings.  While we were sitting in the waiting room, Sean was getting nervous and had sweaty palms.  It did seem like a really big moment for us and the pregnancy, and it was exciting to know that we would be finding out so many things about our baby all in one moment.  We were already super in love with the baby and were so excited to find out how everything was going and looking in my belly.  Of course, we also were so anxious to know the gender!

The actual ultrasound was very peaceful.  The lights were dimmed and the tech was super sweet, nice, and excited for us. I laid down on the table and she covered me with some warm gel and went to town!

It was so amazing to see our little one moving around inside.  They were moving around so much.  It's surprising that I can barely feel flutters every now and then with how much they were kicking and wiggling.

Even though it was one of the last things we were able to see, I will tell you now...It's a GIRL!

We took tons of measurements and saw so many cool images of the baby.  Her heart, spine, stomach, arms, legs, and cute little profile.  I couldn't believe how perfect she was already.  She measured a few days small but nothing to change the due date over, she is just a petite little lady. 

Our technician said the baby was breech, but she would most likely move in the next 20 weeks.  Also, she told us that my placenta was low, but again it would most likely move before the birth.

Sean's favorite thing we saw was her whole spine from head to bum.  It was so cool that we could see all the little bones from top to bottom down her whole back.

My favorite thing we saw was her little legs kicking in the amniotic fluid, it was getting all stirred up and looked like she was kicking up glitter in the womb.

We got some printed off pics of her and I scanned them and sent them all to my family.

My favorite is the profile with her little fist by her face!

I had totally prepared myself for the little one to be a boy.  Mostly because I really wanted a girl and didn't want to be disappointed when it was a boy.  I think I was very unsure of what the gender would be, but was definitely convincing myself it would be a boy.

I know I would have been excited either way, but I was pretty shocked when it was a girl.  I had been preparing myself so much for a boy that when she said it was a girl I was stunned.  I think Sean and I both were.  We were both silent, and I had little tears streaming down my face.  The tech must have been surprised by our reaction because she said, "Is that alright?"  She probably thought we were sitting in frustrated silence about our little lady.  It was definitely the opposite.

Sean thinks he will be a better first time dad to a little girl, and I am so excited to see him as our little baby girls Daddy.

It all feels more real now that we have a gender to put with the baby.  Now time for some baby girl clothes shopping.

Arthur

Yesterday, my district of missionaries headed off to their missions in South Carolina and San Antonio.  It was one more reminder that my time at the MTC is quickly coming to a close.  I will only be teaching one more district before I leave for good.  I will deal with those thoughts/emotions when the time comes.  I realized that I am 7 years older than the average missionary I teach, which makes me feel uncomfortable about the amount of time that has passed since I was in their shoes.  In accordance with what the youth are doing today, we took our district picture in the "selfie" pose.

L to R: Elder Adkins, Sister Johnson, Sister Smith, Elder Gajkowski, Elder Webb, Me, Sister Stidham, Sister Clawson

As part of my job at the MTC, certain missionaries teach me as I role play the part of an investigator.  They set up teaching appointments, and when they knock on the door of the classroom I am in, I go into character.  I do not break character the entire time they are teaching me.  I do what the investigator would do, say what he would say, and react to their message like the investigator would react.  Now, I am not a trained actor, but the experience is generally effective in helping simulate a meaningful teaching experience for the missionaries.  We have always been instructed to take on the role of someone that we know personally, so that our role play is as authentic as possible.  Most teachers take on the role of someone that they taught on their mission, and that is what I have done for the past three and a half years with my missionaries.  Until this district.  

Knowing that this might be my last district (It hadn't been confirmed at the time that I would teach one more), I decided that for the first time, I would take on the role of my grandfather.  Not to get sappy, but I thought about it carefully, because I wanted to make sure that the missionaries had good experiences, and that it didn't just become some self-serving, cathartic trip down memory lane.  So, when Sister Johnson & Sister Clawson knocked on the door for the first time, they met Arthur Walker.

The last picture of Grandpa and me before his passing.

I feel like I know quite a bit about my grandpa's conversion story.  He was baptized when he was 70, but had been attending church, and basically living like a member would for years and years.  I knew some concerns/doubts I could incorporate into the "character" as the sisters taught me, and gave answers to some of their questions that I thought that he would give, or in a lot of cases, that I had actually heard him give in similar real-life conversations.  It was a great experience for them and for me.  

Obviously the work I do at the MTC is very spiritual in nature for me.  All of the activities revolve around the principle of Heavenly Father teaching his missionaries through the Spirit.  There is no way to teach them everything they need to know before they hit the field, but if they can leave the MTC knowing where they can look to for the answers they need, and have had tangible experiences doing just that, I consider it a success.

As I have done this role play activity, I have learned that the Spirit guides me as a teacher just as much as the missionaries.  It has led me to ask certain questions, respond specific ways, and even feel distinct feelings all in the context of the "character".  It was those experiences as I played my grandpa that made the experience so great for me.  During the lessons, I felt things I didn't think I would feel, or didn't know Grandpa would have felt.  My simple concern about the validity of Joseph Smith as a prophet was suddenly accompanied by a more complex worry, and even intense guilt, for a failed marriage, Jim, and the pressures, responsibilities, and expectations of being a step-father.  I really felt like I walked a step or two in his shoes.

Now, I fully understand and am content with the fact that maybe Grandpa didn't say everything I said to the sisters, and maybe some of the feelings I felt or motivations I used weren't exactly how his conversion took place.  Honestly, it doesn't actually matter to me.  I didn't walk out of the experience thinking that I had discovered something that nobody else knew about my grandpa.  I did walk away with a greater appreciation and perspective for who he was, and what he went through.  I knew him the last quarter of his life, once he was weathered, and had been refined by a lot of his experiences.  I heard stories, but never had a mature conversation with him about his regrets and lessons learned regarding his relationships.  This  activity allowed me a glimpse of maybe what a conversation like that would have produced.  

I know that Heavenly Father knows His children.  God lives.  He loves Grandpa.  He loves me.  He loves Sister Clawson & Sister Johnson.  He loves you.  The MTC has afforded me unique opportunities and experiences, and I am grateful for the Spirit that dwells in those walls.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

This year is a special Mother's Day because Cory is pregnant.  Cory has that little baby all safe and snug, just like a good momma should, and that is a cause for celebration!



I have no doubt in my mind or heart that Cory is going to be an amazing mother to our children, mainly, because she is already an amazing mother to me.  Cory must have learned it from somewhere, which is why I can't now celebrate any Mother's Day without recognizing and feeling grateful for my mother-in-law, Buzz (a.k.a. Paula).

I will freely admit that I never expected to get along so well with my mother-in-law.  She is going to be such a fun grandma!  Cory and I went up for a surprise visit to tell her about the baby, and I mentioned to Cory how fun her house will be for our kids.  Buzz keeps us laughing, and taught me everything I know about horses.  Literally.

I am very grateful that Cory has her mother in her life, especially with all our exciting changes happening.  I know Buzz is and will continue to be a source of strength and wisdom for Cory throughout the pregnancy, which is good because she will be getting none of that from me...

Of course, no Mother's Day would be complete without going back to the reason for the season, my mother.  Nothing is ever quite as good as the original.  For a long time, my mother knew more about me than I knew about myself, and that is when I had to tell her to quit being so nosy!  

In all seriousness, though, I have you to thank for most of the successes I've had in my life.  The successes that you aren't responsible for were sheer dumb luck.  I have never questioned for a moment whether or not my mother loved me, or if she had my interests at heart.  I have laughed harder with you than anyone, cried more with you than anyone (though Cory might pass you soon. When did I get so sensitive?), and stayed up later watching movies with you than anyone.

Thank you for investing so much into me, and also into my wife.  I can't wait for our babies to be held by you, sung to by you, and spoiled by you.  Cory and I also won't mind being spoiled every once in a while.  You are now officially the babushka, or just Bushka for short.  Mama Bear, Mama Panda, Bushkamama, Panda Bushka, Mommy, Mom, you are one of a kind!

Save a ride with me to Neverland sometime!

We Don't Smoke...

I knew I wanted to tell my roommates about the baby in a fun way, so I got a few chocolate cigars and handed them out when we were out to lunch.  As you can tell from the picture, we don't actually know how to smoke cigars, but the chocolate was good and my best friends were excited about our news.  That's all you can really ask for.